Second in Command

As you've viewed the spirit animals that comprise our crew, I'm sure you have wondered as to our personalities. Let me start with Wounded Pigeon. He is the most witty person I have ever met in my life. He never misses a beat, which is saying a lot for 5 in the morning. He is now my partner in the potty-mouth gang and we have a riot. As we went about our toilet-cleaning duties, Wounded Pigeon put forth the theory that every work environment must have individuals to fulfill certain roles. One of these roles being that of "The Weird One". Undoubtedly, Wounded Pigeon fills this position on our custodial crew. After all, he is the president of BYU's "nerd" club, so he claims and wears this title with surprising pride. With that said, I turned to Gazelle and asked, "Who would be 'the weird one' on the crew if Wounded Pigeon wasn't on the crew?" Without a nanosecond's worth of hesitation Gazelle said, "You." What? ME? The Weird One?!? I can say in all honesty that I have never been given that label before. At first I was a little befuddled as I tried to recreate the framework upon which I have created my own self-perception. As I somewhat irritably sounded my disdain of this new label, Wounded Pigeon promptly shut my dissent and told me that I should consider the label a compliment, because all that the label means is that in his absence, I would be the one to entertain the crew with my stories, personality, and general oddness. It took a while for that to marinate, but now that I've let is soak in and tenderize, I think that it is an honor to be second in command of "The Weird One" title. May I serve it well. I think...